I am a scoundrel, said Asp. I am a scoundrel with a sensitive conscience. Its only scoundrels, by the way, who have a sensitive conscience, because theyre always pricking it with their villainy till it’s tender. You have no idea what I can get up to. And what self-reproach I’m capable of. I’m really one hell of a guy, a truly fine person. I’m not the only one who says so, my friends say so too. I have a lot of friends. Everyone’s got a Jesus complex and is going to save mefrom liquor, from myself. When I’ve been too obnoxious I cry, that always gets them, because so few people dare to cry in front of someone else that they think it must mean a hell of a lot when you do it. They behold the depths. And it’s true I’m damned unhappy. I can come up and cry at your place one day if you want. One day when I need to borrow money. Then you can have a chance to feel like Jesus, old Jew. That’d be fine, huh? Aren’t I talking well? You have no idea how much I’ve got in me! Should we add it up? No we don’t give a damn about that! Must be at least a liter. What an awakening tomorrow! Why should only certain people have to suffer? Why weren’t you gassed? What sort of justice is that? Those others surely didn’t look much viler than you? Let me know if you don’t think this patter is amusing! I don’t want to make you sad, I’m a Judeophile. Should I shed a few tears now and be lovable? I’m an alcoholic, I do all sorts of tricks for one more whiskey. I can even go to bed with you, but Jews are seldom queers. Besides, I’m a type that women go for, there are loads of females who want to save me. Besides, I don’t know why I’m saying besides. I can arrange a female for you too if you want. Since you weren’t gassed after all, you certainly ought to make sure to enjoy life a little, as long as it lasts. Life can have its own special charm, I tell you. Life and Asp have their own special charm. You understand, I hope, that I only say that bit about the gas because I like you so damned much. Anti-Semites never say things like that. They say personally I have nothing against Jews and then come seven pages of bad quasi science. Aren’t I right? Just whisper a word about gas chambers to an anti-Semite and he’ll get furiously upset and indignant. An anti-Semite is always profoundly moral. And I am profoundly immoral but in a profoundly moral way. By behaving immorally I keep my moral awareness alive. It may seem a bit strained but it’s effective. If you know any anti-Semites I’ll punch them in the mouth for you. I’m strong as hell, I still haven’t boozed away my muscles. Herefeel. Asp jumped up, danced around the table like a boxer in the ring, over to Silberstein, and stuck out his arm. Silberstein squeezed it.
Hell of a muscle, he said, and now go sit down again. Are you bullying me, you Jew bastard, Asp screamed and knocked a glass off the table. A waiter came over. Sit down, he said to Asp, and Asp sat down obediently. I’m stronger than that oaf, he said, but I detest barroom brawls. A whiskey here, he yelled, but no one seemed to hear him. They think I’ve had too much, he said wearily, and I think I’ll be damned if they aren’t right. Besides, I have enough talent so I can talk without fuel.
Translated by Roger Greenwald.